Radio Sandwell Lifestyle News

Top 10 worst gifts you could get her this Christmas

2012-12-10 21:03:49

Angry Lady
Don't let a present ruin your future

As far as the woman in your life is concerned, it's not just a gift you're wrapping up this Christmas. It's a physical manifestation of what she means to you, what lengths you are prepared to go to surprise her or make her feel special and, possibly, what you'll spend on her. With that in mind, avoid the following at your peril!

1) Sexy underwear

Agent Provocateur we can do. But anything made from PVC, adorned with marabou, or - perish the thought - resembling a uniform, will turn us off quicker than you can say 'role play'. If you'd like to see your partner in this kind of get-up, do yourself a favour and consult her opinion on it first.

2) Printer
Your shared printer may have been on the blink all year but this kind of communal gift is not the way to say I love you. Imagine her face when she unwraps that corker straight after she's spent all December planning the most perfect present that's just for you.

3) Nigella cookbook
We love Nigella Lawson, she's so witty, pretty and talented. However, if we do have a fledgling domestic goddess inside us, nothing could kill her off quicker than a reminder from our partner that he'd like us to be a little bit more like Nigella. Epic fail-issima!

4) Apron
You might think the naked lady/'hot stuff'/The Godfather apron is hysterical but she'll get the last laugh when she uses it to wring your neck. It implies she should spend more time in the kitchen and yes, she might start to do this - not to cook, but to get away from you.

5) Bath salts
What exactly are bath salts anyway? They don't foam, they don't moisturise and they smell like festival Portaloos. Not even your granny appreciates these any more, let alone your partner. Unless you're living in the 1970s, avoid.

6) Nothing
Any excuse, no matter how noble eg 'I just couldn't find anything worthy of you' or 'I've been working sooo hard I haven't had time to shop' is likely to go down like a drunken strip tease at your work Christmas party. Shopping online is so easy now, there's literally no excuse.

7) Novelty gifts
Anything Christmas-related is great but if she doesn't open her presents til after lunch there's only a small window in which the gift is useful. After that it'll just sit on a shelf collecting dust. In fact, avoid novelty gifts as a rule, so soap on a rope, finger shaped nose hair trimmer, and anything inflatable are all out.

8) Cuddly toy
Similarly, anything soft, stuffed and furry is likely to trigger an enormous tantrum from your beloved, and you'd deserve it. She's a babe, not a baby. And besides, she's got you to cuddle so why would she need anything else taking up precious bed space?

9) Workout DVD

So you think she's fat do you? That might not be the case, but an exercise-related present, be that a gym pass, mini dumbbells or a workout DVD, will send out the message that you think she could do with losing weight or toning up. Deeply offensive so avoid at all costs!

10) Anything cut-price
Items go on sale because no one wants to buy them. Think of this as you thumb through the '50 per cent off' rail while Christmas shopping. A reduced pressie will make her feel as special as Special K, and she won't even be able to take it back for a refund.

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